Quote of the day

And the quote of the day is ...

"Great. Humanitarian tanks."

The Funniest Sketch Ever on Television

Ladies and Gentlemen, lest we forget the genius that was the cast of the Carol Burnett show.



I remember seeing this sketch outtake on a "Best of ..." episode of the show as a child. I nearly passed out, laughing so hard, unable to breathe.

Some days we just need a laugh more than others.

Minnesotans for Global Warming

It's a cause we can all get behind, don't you agree?

Amazon's DRM-free music

Amazon has, for the last few months, been offering DRM-free music downloads. That means that a song or album that you buy from them comes in a standard MP3 format, not some proprietary, locked format that only plays on specific hardware. This is important to me because (1) I use my Treo phone as my music player and it only plays MP3s, (2) I like music and listen to it often, and (3) I have a conscience that won't allow me to download illicit MP3s. That means that I was left to purchasing actual CDs and ripping songs (which, despite RIAA arguments to the contrary, is still legal). The biggest problem with Amazon's music was it's extremely limited selection. That's all changed now that Warner has added their library to the mix. They now have music that I would pay - and have paid - 99 cents for. Therefore, as a public service, I present for you a few easy listening pieces from my current playlist. The list to the right was specifically created to put you into a productive mood whether it be working, studying, or driving down a deserted highway at night with the windows open. The Amazon solution isn't perfect yet. There are no tracks by Rage Against the Machine or (surprise!) Metallica. You'll just have to make do with the few hundred other options available now. Happy listening!

A childhood well spent

	I received 71 credits on The Sci Fi Sounds Quiz How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?
Take the Sci-Fi Movie Quiz powershot s5

Seriously, why aren't you reading XKCD every day?

OK. Here's a sample. But that's all you're going to get on this site. You must click below and read daily. People this funny and intelligent must be supported.

Geektastic Links for Thanksgiving

Couldn't resist sharing for the holidays. Happy Turkey Day everyone!

• DC power service - originally provided by Thomas Edison's company - in Manhattan is finally being discontinued. Now when will they start discontinuing the hundreds of obsolete telecommunications protocols that we poor equipment vendors are still being asked to support?
• Some of the coolest natural phenomena in the world. Plan your next vacation accordingly.
• Negative refractive index materials. I would consider returning to academia just for the chance to ponder all of the implications of this stuff ... like stopping light completely.
• Mathematical proof that Futurama is indeed the geekiest show on television. It lapses into Spanish towards the end. This means something ....
• You must read this webcomic. Anyone who can make a joke that requires knowing the periodic table symbol for tin is a verifiable genius.
• I could be on this list if I wanted to be. I'd be at least a 300. I just don't like taking tests anymore....
• Ever listened to the sounds the road makes and wonder if you could engineer it to make music? Um, no, me neither. That would be weird, wouldn't it. Ahem.
• You, too can draw fractals by hand. Sure it takes a few hours to get something passable, but it involves math and really, what better did you have to do today?
  

I gotta make me one of these

I'm usually not one to pass along links, but how can I pass up a Blu-ray Star Trek phaser? This, I may have to make.

I had a Star Trek phaser as a kid. Mine made cool "phaser" noises when you pulled the trigger (and you could put shape filters on the front to project an Enterprise or other shapes on the walls - but that's not really relevant). It was the weapon of choice in the neighborhood war games because your couldn't call "missed me" when the light was shining on your chest. Plus, you didn't have to keep yelling "bang" due to the nifty phaser noises.

Wouldn't it be cool if this one made those noises? I wouldn't recommend it for war games though. You'll put your eye out.

King on Rowling

Stephen King writes on the subject of J. K. Rowling. As usual, King again proves to be much smarter than his critics give him credit for.

I would sacrifice Rowling's riches to be able to write even something as small as a review like King.

(OK, maybe not. It would be a tough call.)

Please do not send any more links to online games

First it seemed kind of silly. Then I lost the game the first time and it became a challenge. Now I've managed to lose several otherwise productive hours.



Beat that!

Headline of the Day

Honestly, you can't make something like this up.

Lawyers want to dig for gold at home of spammer's parents

• distractions

Life imitates Merrie Melodies

• distractions

A plague of cats

Research has shown that women who are infected with [cats] tend to be more warm, outgoing and attentive to others, while infected men tend to be less intelligent and probably a bit boring. But both men and women who are infected are more prone to feeling guilty and insecure.

Did they really need research dollars to prove that? Just read a "Garfield" comic ... or spend some time with a few boring male cat owners.

• distractions

A Humble Suggestion for the Legal Team at Rogers Communications

This is a very interesting and quite helpful book. For $2.13million, you can buy roughly 160,000 copies (plus shipping).

See "Where did that come from" below for more details.

• telecommunications
• distractions
• humor

Distractions: The Video Edition

• Like the Mac/PC adds? Move along. Despise them, click on these
  
  • Working?
  • Gaming?
  • Networking?
  • And the ultimate – Performance
• For the Sci-Fi lover ... and the Sci-Fi despiser
  
• Star Trek meets Monty Python in Camelot
• Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager
  
• Some Japanese culture for your enjoyment
• The Samurai Sword is mightier than the gun (but you have to be pretty accurate)
• Japanese aerobic instructors teach you how to have a polite and happy mugging
• ... or fend off an admirer
  

• distractions

Your Latest Banana News from Popular Science

Yes! We have no bananas!

Forecasting the impending doom of America's favorite breakfast fruit and smoothie ingredient.

The blog is not expected to be impacted.

Filed in: creations distractions

Distractions

• The only blog operating within New Orleans after Katrina. Inspiring and intriguing.
  
• Turning an optical illusion into a profitable business (turning, get it?)
• A ad campaign with a nun holding a condom. Who would object to that?
• Rent a Rodent
• Q: Why did the surrealist cross the road? A: Orange.
• Doing the Star Trek whoosh door one better.
• "In the 69 years that the pitch has been dripping no-one has ever seen the drop fall."
• Bored teenagers. Unprotected McDonald's sign. A few power tools. Recipe for minor annoyance.
• Bored geeks. Large block of sodium. Water source. Recipe for large explosions.
• Virtual mugging. Be careful folks, it's a jungle in there and the geeks are running the show.
• Online karaoke - please practice before you go out in public.
• Animated film and song about Atlanta's gas situation.
• Robots in unexpected places.
• Finally those MIT guys come up with a useful invention. Carbonated ice cream. Sure beats those highly efficient photocells they've been working on for like ... ever.
• Patent illustrations from the 1920s. People were really into radiator caps.
• All of the strangest eBay auctions collected in a convenient blog format.
• Everyone needs a pet with a built-in tuxedo. Herring not included.
• Suprisingly, digging through the earth won't send you to China. At least not from my house.
• Surviving "unplanned" free-fall. As Steve McQueen said in The Magnificent Seven, "So far, so good."
• Finally, a chess game that's good for my ego.
• When they start going for boats, we're in trouble.
  

Filed in: distrations

Distractions

• Photos of refrigerators! With their doors WIDE OPEN!
• Harry Potter. Hand puppets. Animation. What more could you want?
  
• Lesser-known movie prequels.
• People are praying to this?! Looks like a big thumb to me.
  
• At least it wasn't in the South this time.
• A game that combines breakout, abuse of endangered species, and unreadable Asian texts.
  
• The Chinese are going to be tough in the Women's World Cup this year.
• The elephant said to the ant, "Pick on someone your own size!'
  
• Greatest resignation-from-the-firm letter ever.
• Ballad of the badly bruised "boys".
• I love this title, "Judge Roberts' Gay Children Outed Valerie Plame"
• Hank Aaron's and Babe Ruth's contributions to mathematics.
  
• You can't get DSL from your telecomm company. Meanwhile Japan's putting up a satellite to give everyone 100Mbps. Yeah, that sounds about right.
  

Filed in: distractions

Who was Rebecca L. Felton?

A fascinating woman. Rebecca L. Felton was, among other things

• the first woman to occupy a seat in the US Senate (from Georgia)
  
• the oldest person to ever be sworn in for the first time as a US Senator (87 years old)
• the person who served the shortest term in history as a US Senator (1 day)
• the wife, speechwriter, and secretary of a US Congressman
• author and subject of several books
• newspaper editor, columnist, and activist
  

Listen to her (and see her) in her own words *here* describing growing up in a time most of us can barely imagine.

“A Senator of the U.S., a woman, is still a sort of political joke with our masculine leaders in party politics. . .But the trail has been blazed! The road is apparently rough—maybe rocky—but the trail has been located. It is an established fact. While it is also a romantic adventure, it will ever remain an historical precedent—never to be erased.”

– Rebecca Felton, Nov. 7, 1922

Filed in: distractions

Foreign looking?

Some good advice for riding the London Underground.

Filed in: distractions

Distractions

• Very Cool! Find out where the cell towers are near you. (Now I know why there's terrible reception at my house.)
• Chimp vs. Gorilla. Who did you think would win?
• Don't eat at the "101 Dalmations" pavillion for the first few weeks.
• Remember the DJ who tried to pile drive Manhattan by getting everyone to jump? Same deal, bigger scale.
• Burnouts help beautify Salt Lake City.
• Grow your own kudzu.
• Randomly generate a Computer Science paper. Submit it to a conference. Guess what happens next.
• 40 goats + 20 cows = Chelsea Clinton?
• Great minds think alike. Or maybe there just are no more original ideas.
• The Coca-Cola tux. When simply shilling for Nike just isn't cool enough for you.
• How long can you keep your cursor safe?
• The new Wilkinsons search tool. Watch out Google!
• Is it a refreshing summer beverage or a deadly poison?
• Some in Russia are praising the murder of the country's leading spammer. Can't advocate it, but can understand it.
• Fascinating analysis on the motivation of terrorists. Favorite quote, "As a branch of sociopaths, terrorist leaders possess their own deformed cravings for fame, which makes them particularly susceptible to the false realities projected by celebrities."
  

Filed in: distractions

Distractions

• You didn't fail, you "delayed success". Try that in a real job.
• And you thought firemen didn't bring their work home with them.
  
• A video game modification based on a movie based on a Broadway play.
• A bad music video of a bad song which is not improved upon by being performed on appliances.
• What to do when your landing gear won't lock? Get some friends in a speeding truck and a long pole ... and pray. An amazing story.
• Co-dependent plush toys. Buy one for the passive aggressive in your life. (Best quote, "Needies always know when other Needies are getting touch!")
• "If eBay employed the 430,000 people who earn an income selling on its site, it would be the nation's No. 2 private employer, behind Wal-Mart."
• It's not just you. Famous people look like dorks in their old photos, too.
• You will not believe the talent this artist displays in these enormous murals. Truly incredible.
• Is a motorcycle made out of chainsaws such a good idea? Just starting my one chainsaw takes forever, getting 12 started in the morning just to get to work sounds painful
  

Filed in: distractions

Distractions

• The All-New Sesame Street. Someone's going to hell for this one.
• Spray on Mud - to look like an off-roader when your SUV's never left the blacktop. Sold to the same folks who put those fake bullet holes on their pickups.
  
• Kitty Litter Cake. Serve it to those you love.
• Bloody Chainsaw playstation controller. I wonder if it works with the Strawberry Shortcake games my kids play?
• Finally! I can watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer while the wife watches Sex and the City. A real marriage saver.
• They get some wild clouds in Nebraska. Amazing.
• 40 things that only happen in movies. According to #39 I would have been invited to parties as a teenager had I only lived in a movie.
• With Photoshop, "surf and turf" takes on a whole new meaning.
  

Filed in: distractions

Distractions

• The Redneck Scrapbook. The hands-free phone is a nice touch.
• On-line bubble wrap. A fine use of the internet.
  
• Lending credibility to the "science" of astrology and palm readers worldwide, astrologer sues NASA
• Disguise your doberman as a poodle. Lowers his self-esteem while allaying neighbors' irrational fears.
• A lost Seuss classic - Gerald McBoingBoing.
  
• Learn to dance like Napoleon. You know you want to.
• The iPod Flea. I like the Flea Collar concept.
  

Filed in: distractions

The Lego Church

It features a balcony, a narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics, a nave, a baptistry, an altar, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ.

How long to build it? It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.
How many pieces of LEGO to build it? more than 75,000
How big is it? About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2 m x 1.7 m x .76 m)
How many LEGO people does it seat? 1372
How many windows? 3976

And it's dedicated to a cat. Sometimes these things write themselves.

Filed in: distractions

Vision of the future of blogging/bloggers

Coined the term "weblog". Never made a dime.

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The Rodent Revolution Begins

The first step is to knock out communications.

Rats in New Zealand.
Squirrels in England.
Badgers in Sweden.
Squirrels in New York City (scroll down a bit).

Then, they'll come after the power grid.

Squirrels pretty much everywhere.

The President Placates the Leader of our Future Overlords.

Filed in: creations humor distractions

The first plague

It's raining frogs!

I think water to blood is next, followed by boils, leeches, and Regis Philbin. Or something like that.

Filed in: distractions

Sawyer, Sawyer, Locke

Don't click. It will stick in your head! Ahhhh! Get it out! Get it out!

Filed in: distractions humor

Distractions

• Omnificent English Dictionary In Limerick Form
• A touching tribute to the Native American lifestyle (70s style)
• Bacon strip bandages: medical miracle or cruel doggy torture?
• How lightsabres work
• Time travelers - the party's at 42:21:36.025 degrees north, 71:05:16.332 degrees west
• The age-old question: How much is inside?
• No life? Limited social skills? Here's a group that will accept you - as long as you're dressed as a Wookie
• Dogs and cats, lying together
• British Kung Fu
• If the movie and song didn't do it, this certainly completes the trivialization of the Titanic disaster
• How to survive a zombie attack
• A ninja pays half my rent (wait for it)
  

Filed in: distractions

So long Karol

No matter your religious beliefs or lack thereof, you have to be awed by what this man accomplished in his lifetime.

We're sad for ourselves, not for you. Please take care of Terry while you're up there.

Filed in: distractions

A Safer Intern

Oh, the comedic possibilities when the terms "intern" and "fingerprint" appear in the same headline. How many in Washington do you think have signed up for the alliance already?

Filed in: humor distractions

Distractions

• Cell phone entrpreneurship in Afganistan.
  
• It's amazing the things that people will confess anonymously and publicly.
• Jihad: The Musical. Because there are very few things that cannot be made more horrific by the addition of overwrought solos and jazz hands.
  
• The world's ugliest car has been retored. No one is exactly sure why.
• Convert all those old VHS and Hi-8 tapes to DVDs. Then, in a few years, convert them again to the next format. (PS, buy me one anyway.)
• Revolutionary War history comes to life in Vermont. They built a bridge by lugging the supports onto the ice then sinking them. Brilliant.
• The Dark Side is corrupting our children through their toys and candy.
• Who exactly is Stanley Bing?
• Transparent computer screens. Well, not really - just something computer geeks do in their spare time to freak out onlookers.
• What do those warning signs really mean? Well, they don't mean this.
• The solar death ray. Really. I suggest melting a few of these.
• A $100 potato chip. Some people are clever, others aren't very bright. Some people are sellers, others are buyers. Same people in both cases this time.
• Claim it's for weight loss, and you can sell just about anything.
• Never, never, never pass out around college roomates.
• Japanese technology companies try out all sorts of odd ideas in the markets of Akihabara.
• Spam love.
• Lego-based Batman movie. Still superior to the George Clooney version.
  

Filed in: distractions

PC EZ-Bake Oven

My old (very old) computer is on its last legs, and I recently ordered a nice, shiny, new Dell. It has everything I need - or so I thought until I ran across this link in GMSV.

(While you're there, take a look at some of the other cool stuff you can use to customize your PC. If only I had the time and the spare change. Ahh, geek reminiscence.)

Filed in: distractions humor

Dennis Rogers takes on Hogzilla

Growing up, I wanted to write just like Raleigh News and Observer columnist Dennis Rogers. I read all of his columns and bought all of his books. What a delight to read a typically entertaining column from him in the paper this morning during our Easter visit to North Carolina.

Take a minute to enjoy a North Carolina original.

What a Waste of Pig by Dennis Rogers

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distractions humor

Baller Bits

I get a daily email from Jim Baller of the Baller-Herbst Law Group. He is an advocate for municipal broadband (fast internet access put in by small towns - usually where the big guys don't typically provide much competition). It's always an interesting read, and I highly recommend signing up for it if you're in the business. Here are some tidbits from today's missive - with editorial additions by yours truly.

• Texas passes a low limiting municipal broadband deployments, and Muniwireless has a calm, reasoned response. Example:
  

  This bill does nothing except protect the stranglehold that large incumbent telcos have on the market for broadband services. Texas will join the laggards and if the state wants to attract and retain tech companies, it will find a cold shoulder. Guess where those people will go? To states and countries that encourage competition in broadband services, where telecommunications costs are lower and broadband is fast and ubiquitous.

• The Orlando Sentinel reports on battles in the Florida Legistature between cities and the large incumbents. A pretty reasoned and balanced report showing both sides of the issue - the correct one and the incorrect one.
• Meanwhile, West Virginia passes a law that explicitly allows municipal broadband. It's a beautiful state, and now it's going to be one of the more technologically advanced as well.
• Using lamposts to provide wireless access in the UK. Plus, they'll provide location services in case of emergency. I'm imagining the antique lamposts from "Mary Poppins" with tiny antennae, but it's probably less pictuesque.
  
• Alabama woman sues Charter Cable because she tripped over a cable while walking through her neighbor's yard in the dark. Here come the "unspecified soft tissue damage" claims. How far has our society fallen when tripping in the yard can result in a lawsuit? My prediction is the net result will be higher cable bills for 99.999% of Charter customers and one hefty payout for the rest.
  

Filed in: telecommunications distractions