A plague of cats

Research has shown that women who are infected with [cats] tend to be more warm, outgoing and attentive to others, while infected men tend to be less intelligent and probably a bit boring. But both men and women who are infected are more prone to feeling guilty and insecure.

Did they really need research dollars to prove that? Just read a "Garfield" comic ... or spend some time with a few boring male cat owners.

• distractions